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Stop Being Sarcastic

Updated on April 30, 2011

Are You Full of Sarcasm?

Do you have a co-worker or supervisor who constantly makes sarcastic remarks about your ideas or new projects? Sometimes these remarks are made at staff meetings as a form of ridicule and attempt to bond up with co-workers around the idea of not taking on a new task. Often these remarks are more passive in nature – done behind the scenes to discourage participation on a group project and undermine project success. Do you have a friend who always makes sarcastic remarks about your life plans and poop on your goals. Sarcastic comments are meant to get back at the targeted person to reduce self-confidence and perhaps even to reinforce the sarcastic person’s self-esteem.

Often sarcasm is not recognized as a negative trait and people may couch the comments as jokes or even compliments. Sarcasm is more about tone than the words used. “Good Job” or “Great Idea” can be sarcastic if said in a mocking tone. If you complain about such comments, you might be looked at as crazy or ultra-sensitive. Are you that sarcastic person who cannot say anything without a mocking tone in your voice? Are you chasing people away with your behavior and negative attitude?

Why is Sarcasm a Type of Bullying?

The intention of sarcasm is to hurt. As a result, it is a bullying type of behavior. It works because you cause pain to others. Sarcasm is negative for the workplace because it discourages new ideas and encourages bonding among co-workers who are engaged in mocking someone else instead of being productive. Such workplaces are those of intimidation and fear to try innovative approaches that may be sarcastically criticized. Growth and excitement around the work may be diminished and company or organizational success is jeopardized.

Sarcasm is your personal life will ruin your close relationships and push people away, as they will eventually seek more positive and supportive friends. Your friends will stop confiding to you or sharing their life because of your sarcastic tone. Their behaviors, attitudes, and words will change around you, as you condition them to feel that it is unsafe to express themselves and bully them into being silent.

How to Stop Being Sarcastic?

Sarcasm can be an addictive behavior in which you reach for that quick sarcastic remark to avoid expressing your true feelings and concerns.

  • Recognize Your Feelings: Take responsibility for your own feelings. Own your feelings. Think before you speak. Why are you bashing something or someone? What are your real feelings? How can you express these feelings in a more productive manner?
  • Motivation: Why are you making a comment? Is your comment really necessary to move the discussion forward or is it just designed to be evil or get attention? Are you trying to push someone away or avoid dealing with an issue?
  • Goals: What goal do you hope to achieve by being sarcastic? Are you achieving these goals? Probably not. Sarcasm is a negative behavior. You might feel happy for a moment - at the exact time you are taking a jab at someone. However, do you have long-term happiness from being sarcastic?

The best advice is to take a moment to think about your behavior and how you appear to others. What is the image you want to portray to others? Embody that image as who you are and express it with your behavior. Be that confident, competent, and lovable person you think you are. Show the world your best self.

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