How to Deal With Haters
83What is a Hater?
A hater is someone who works to disrupt, debunk, or simply hate you, what you do, and what you love. Haters may spread lies or malicious gossip about you, talk about you behind your back with the intention of hurting you, and use manipulation and negativity to recruit additional members into their hater club.
Anyone with any degree of success or competence can get haters. Haters hate you for accomplishments, attractiveness, youthfulness, experience, or any qualities that you have that they don't possess. Hate may be the result of envy, jealousy, low self-esteem, fear of failure, or anger at life circumstances. Haters need to hate in order to make themselves feel better about whatever weakness or incompetence they feel about themselves. For example, I have a hater who calls people I work with to discuss how she is more competent and more experienced than myself. While there may be some truth to what she says, the message is delivered in a hater way that actually doesn't achieve her desired goal. Competence is illustrated by actions and self-evident to others. Her behavior is a result of her own insecurities and has very little to do with me or my behavior. I simply trigger this insecure reaction, as she perceives me as a threat. Her thought patterns are in fact irrational, as no such threat exists, and her hater behavior is the result of trying to compensate for her out of control feelings. Hating never addresses the underlying issue. As a result, haters have a hard time changing their behaviors.
Tips on How to Handle the Haters in Your Life
- There is no reasoning with a hater. The painfulness of their own insecurities and inadequacies are so hard for them to face. Hate is the only why they can cope and go on with their lives. You can't talk a hater of hating. They are not ready to face their fears.
- Accept that you have haters. Losers don't have haters. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Don't change who you are for your haters. Take care of yourself and retain your self-confidence. Don't let haters drag you down to their level. Don't hate back.
- Limit contact and interactions with haters. As much as possible, you have to protect yourself and refrain from developing emotional relationships with your haters - keep it superficial.
- Develop your own support systems. Create your own fan base for your emotional health and in order to create a positive spirit to your life.
- Preserve your mental health. Develop outlets for expressing your feelings about the haters. Write, draw, paint, or find some means to let it all out, so that these negative feelings don't remain trapped inside and poison your life.
- Speak up for yourself. Even though you are keeping your distance from your haters, you still need to honor your principles and beliefs. Speak your mind in a reasoned and rational manner. And, then move on with your life.
- Continue to love and not hate. Find forgiveness.
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Thanks for reading.
Good advice, there will always be haters, don't let it rain on your parade or affect your life one bit...Thank you :-0
Very good advice for a problem l have suffered from. Unfortunately it was at a time where l was young with very little confidence. l had no idea how to handle it. l wish l´d had your hub then.!!!
i´m sure it will help others who read this. Very nicely done.
Thanks so much for reading and all the encouraging comments.
The toughest part is not to hate back...but as you said, you do not want to develop an emotional relationship with haters. Do not invest any emotion into negative behaviour!!!
I have two immature people who live upstairs of me who are just that. Perhaps I didn't buy into their hateful behaviour against other neighbors they have hated and tried to mainpulate.
Yet, I find peace of mind in totally ignoring them and it is quite amusing to see them still trying to show their contempt even though I am not the least bit interested. Sad creatures really.
Great Hub! Voted up and useful!
Thanks so much Sribenet for your comments. It is hard to ignore haters, so you are doing a good job.
Great share - One thing my parents told me is that no matter how good you are, or how you much you try to help people - there will still be a few who don't like you.
Thanks for sharing wise words.
Your parents had some great advice.
A very Useful article..!! For a world filled with innumerable haters, we needed this article.
There is no point in letting hatred stop us from achieving our goals. Instead we should perhaps concentrate on spreading love and destroying hatred from its roots.
Thanku for sharing this brilliant hub
good hub. good advice. but sometimes a quick jab to the nose with your fist will curb the hate stuff too. LOL.
(Not that i EVER advocate violence).
@cracknutcase ~ thanks. The world is full of haters and needs more love.
@d.william~ there is a theory that you have to pop a bully in the nose in order for them to back off. lol
LOL. that is NOT a theory. It is the truth.
Voted up and funny. I love the comedian Katt William's take on haters...he says something like this:
"You know haters when you see them...they usually give you that I'm-about-to-vomit face because they are so disgusted with you. Haters suck."
@kittythedreamer i like that quote
Great post,Thanks
Excellent. Let the haters hate, let the liars lie. It's on their souls. They know the people they are, and they don't like what they see. Its tough to feel for them. Awesome hub,
Thanks mattdigiulio for your comment. Yes, the haters really hate themselves.
Thank you for introducing yourself to me! It led me to this hub, which I read carefully. I think this is quite well done and I will mull over what you have said for a few days or more. I have not heard this behavior described in such a manner and I find it refreshing and informative!!! Thanks so much- voted up and awesome.
Thanks Storytellersrus. I enjoyed reading your Hubs. This Hub is from my real life experience of dealing with haters and making it through to the other side. Thanks for reading.
Great hub! Voted up and useful. Touched by your second tip..."Accept that you have haters. Losers don't have haters. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Don't change who you are for your haters. Take care of yourself and retain your self-confidence. Don't let haters drag you down to their level. Don't hate back."
I like it! So true and great suggestions you have for dealing with haters. ;o)
Thanks Injured lamb and krazikat for your comments. They are much appreciated.
Voted up, tagged as Useful and am sharing at Facebook!
Thanks Bard of Ely. Glad to be following you. You have great hubs.
"Limit contact and interactions with haters." Useful suggestion. This hub is also filled with excellent insights. Sometimes though, we are just stuck with haters :-( So we just have to be happy on our own :D
Good stuff. There will always be haters, because the haters hate that you are doing something they wish they could.
kerlynb ~ yes, i learned that only me can make me happy, thanks for the comments
selfdefenselesson ~ thanks for reading and following me
I believe in this word, haters make us famous.lol funny but true. Haters is one of the thing that makes our life more exciting.
definitely
Sadly...I have not garnered enough success or competence to attract the attention of any haters...I guess that's good.
Haters don't swim among the mediocre, apparently. That said...I feel as if I will be ready should I unexpectedly up my game...as a result of your well written Hub!
Great Information and Sentiments my new friend!
Thomas
Hi Thomas, I am glad I found you on hubpages. You are a very talented writer . . . so watch out, your haters are just around the corner.
The sad thing about it is that most haters do possess some talent or gift but they curse themselves by behaving this way towards others. In all essence poisoning the power they possess reversely to the one they hate. Dysfunctional and dumb!!! but what can you say, outside of me sharing this...nothing! Because at the end of the day practice has perfected their actions and thoughts which will have them continue with their "non paying practice"....Hating. btw I can't forget about the "successful" haters that hate on anyone who has the potential of being "greater" or more "successful" than them. Somewhere in their warped mind they believe that you want what they have, as though it is worth coveting, when in all essence ones level as well as definition of success differs. Sooo Sad, Sad and more Sad....Just gotta love em!
LOL@ Losers don't have haters!
Why should I forgive a hater? They are not normal.
You should protect yourself from them, whatever it takes cos they can destroy your life.
Great Hub, i find the above hub very useful. Thanks for sharing. I believe now i have learnt something from the above useful hub.
We can't stop hater from hating us, but point is, we can stop ourselves from hating who we are by just using the hater's irrational judgement. We know we are way better than that.
I do not waste my time with haters. On the other hand, only if they disturb my life, then I would make them clear that I do not have any interest on what they have to say. Haters can use mechanisms to really hurt in many ways: physically, emotionally, mentally...then something must be done with them. Thanks for the hub.
Thanks for stopping by AnnaCia and the comment. You have the right idea ~ haters take up far too much time.
Oh Gosh, if you are doing great, you gotta have some haters... :)
Guys, also remember one thing -
Odds are, there is nobody on this planet that can hate you! NOBODY!
Why? Because odds are nobody knows you well enough to hate you!
They can hate their perceived image of you yes - but that is not you!
Imagine if someone calls you a geek for getting high grades. There not calling you a geek, there calling their percieved image of you a geek.
It;s an enlightening feeling knowing that nobody in the world can hate you!
You can all be happy knowing that now! :)
Great Hub! I agree if you are successful you will attract haters. Excellent advice for dealing with them. Voted-up.
Thanks for the vote up Jlava73.
Great Hub!
This is a very wise and thoughtful hub on how to deal with haters. I met some of them when I was in college, doing my postgraduate course. I maintained a distance from them and let go of them and the past. My parents always gave me sensible advice on ignoring such difficult people. Your hub is an eye-opener, especially forgiveness!
Thanks for SHARING. Useful, awesome & interesting. Voted up.
Glad you had such sound advice from your parents. Thanks for the vote up.
Amazingly truthful hub!
HattieMattieMae Level 7 Commenter 13 months ago
We needed this hubpage! :)